Depression is both a mood disorder and a mindset. While it’s common to experience feelings of sadness or grief from time to time, when those feelings are constant and begin to take a toll on your health and quality of life, it’s important to seek support.
If you or a loved one is living with depression, you’re not alone. One in ten, or over 18 million adults, are affected by depression. From postpartum depression to post-traumatic stress disorders, millions of people are both suffering and thriving. Mood disorders such as depression aren’t linear and are made up of good and bad days.
Feeling Your Depression
Feelings of sadness and grief are normal emotions we all experience. For those who aren’t living with depression, these feelings typically only last a few days.
Depression is a diagnosable mood disorder that brings about long-lasting symptoms such as overwhelming sadness, low energy, loss of appetite, and a lack of interest in things that used to bring pleasure.
Other emotional symptoms include:
- extreme irritability over seemingly minor things
- anxiety and restlessness
- trouble with anger management
- loss of interest in activities, including sex
- fixation on the past or on things that have gone wrong
- thoughts of death or suicide
Negative thoughts can be a significant aspect of depression. It’s important to remember you are not your thoughts.
"There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn't." - John Green
Manage Your Negative Thoughts
Cognitive-behavioral therapy works on the basis that we cannot change our emotions—we can only improve our thoughts and behaviors. To learn how to change negative thoughts, you first need to be able to identify them.
Here are some examples:
- All or nothing: “If this date isn’t successful, I’ll be single forever.”
- Overgeneralizing: “I’ve been bad at every single job I’ve had.”
- Personalizing: “It’s all my fault.”
- Mind reading: “All my friends/co-workers/family think I’m stupid.”
- Jumping to conclusions: “My boss doesn’t look happy. She must be about to fire me.”
- Catastrophizing: “This is going to be a terrible day.”
- Disqualifying the positive: “They have to say nice things about me because they are my friends, but they don’t mean them.”
- Should/must/ought to: “I should be a better son/daughter.” “I must start exercising.” “I ought to have a better job.”
Healing is not linear. This quote is particularly relatable to depression. When living with depression, it's normal to get better, regress, and get better again.
Unlike a viral illness that gets better and goes away over time, depression is not linear.
Make A List
It’s not always possible to stop negative thoughts as they are involuntary. However, you can learn how to manage them.
Make a list of your negative thoughts throughout the day, then ask yourself the following questions about each:
- Is this thought helpful?
- Can you spot any negative thinking patterns? (e.g., catastrophizing, personalizing, etc.)
- Is there evidence for this thought? If so, what is it?
- Is there evidence against this thought?
- Would you say this to a friend? Would a friend say this to you?
- Are there alternative ways of looking at the situation that are more helpful and realistic?
There are no right or wrong answers. This process is to help you challenge your negative thoughts. By doing so, you will hopefully come to the conclusion that such thoughts don't ring true, helping you to take them for what they are—just a negative thought and not your truth.
“Sometimes, life will kick you around, but sooner or later, you realize you’re not just a survivor. You’re a warrior, and you’re stronger than anything life throws your way." —Brooke Davis
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